The Singular “They”
Yesterday I opened a can of worms. There were many worms in the can; some male and some female. I discovered that a few of the worms were married to each other. One couple was having a marital disagreement. They were arguing about grammar, of all things. The fight was about the proper use of gender pronouns. Here is the sentence under dispute:
“When a spouse greets a partner with derision because of an opinion, what should be ___ reaction?”
Fill in the blank. Should you use his, his or her, or their? This is a grammatical conundrum. Your choice will determine whether you will be categorized as “sexist,” “tiresome,” or “ungrammatical.”
Our vernacular has changed over the past years due to our sensitivity over the generic “he.” For some it is a matter of being politically correct. For others it is merely a way of being inclusive of both genders in their writing. In addition it can be simply a matter of using the common language of everyday speech.
So what is correct? I have polled a number of editors on this subject and find them equally divided. Some trained in journalism and others who are fierce copy-editors are vehemently opposed to the use of the “singular their.” Others claim to be more concerned about simple communication and lay the finer points of grammar aside. Yet even they are not unified on the issue. There is an entire website devoted to this question (The Anti-Pedantry page can be found at www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/austheir.html).
Rosalie Maggio, in her book The Nonsexist Word Finder (Beacon Press, 1989) speaks to the issue of gender inclusive language:
“Defenders of the convention most often claim that is a point of grammar and certainly not intended to offend anyone. That is does in reality offend large numbers of people does not appear to sway some grammarians, nor does the fact that their recourse to the laws of language is on shaky ground. While he involves a disagreement in gender, singular they involves a disagreement in number [as in ‘to each his own’ and ‘to each their own’]. Eighteenth-century [male] grammarians decided that number was more important than gender, although the singular they had been in favor until that time.”
The plural pronoun has been used regularly for years. Few realize that some of the greatest writers in history utilized this method without criticism–Chaucer, Shakespeare, Swift, Goldsmith, Dickens, Fielding, Thackery, Byron, Austen, Orwell, Kipling, and even C.S. Lewis. Even The Chicago Manual of Style, 14th ed., “recommends the ‘revival’ of the singular use of _they_ and _their_, citing…its venerable use by such writers as Addison, Austen,…and Shakespeare.” (footnote on pp. 76-77 – 1993 edition)
Richard Lederer, in an article in Writer’s Digest wrote, “Let the word go out that anyone…their is destined to become good, idiomatic English. It already pervades the speech of educated Americans, and daily it grows more common in writing.”
Member of the Copyediting-L e-mail list state, “‘They’ with a singular antecedent works well, because it’s already part of everyone’s vocabulary. Like the generic ‘he,’ it entails no new words, just a shift in semantics…[it] is just one item in the toolkit of those who wish to avoid using generic ‘he.’ It isn’t the only item, and it doesn’t fit every situation, but it is useful.” (http://atropos.c2.net/~srm/samples/net/celfaq.htm [link now broken])
My feeling is that it is entirely appropriate to use the “singular they.” We need to adjust, ever so slightly, to accommodate the changes in our language. While not succumbing to the landmine of being politically correct, I do believe that there are appropriate places to use “ungrammatical” words to effectively communicate to our readers. Even the Boston Globe agrees in their article from October 2008 “The Singular Challenge.”
Richard Lederer provided a wonderful exercise to illustrate the point. Fill in the blank in the following sentence: “Everyone in the building attended the party, and ___ had a wonderful time.” I suspect that nearly everyone supplied the word they.
For a nice, but not definitive, introduction to the subject visit the Wikipedia entry for this topic.
And please note that I am a NOT grammar expert by any means. Heaven forbid I get that much credit. While I am an advocate of great writing and proper use of the English language I am also an advocate of communication. And communication has a tendency to adapt over time, the written word is no exception.
An earlier and abridged version published as “Opening a Can of Worms” in The Advanced Christian Writer, June 1998.
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Tags: Grammar
Interesting about the history of the ’singular they’, and its use by Shakespeare and Austen. I really enjoyed this article but must admit I still find this usage jarring for some reason, and never use it. And, whatever happened to “one’s”?
So I would have answered your quotes with “When a spouse greets a partner with derision because of an opinion, what should the reaction be?” and “Everyone in the building attended the party and had a wonderful time.” Avoidance. lol
Thanks again — I’m looking forward to a few conversations over this one.
Thank you, Steve, for digging into this. I’m working on another nonfiction book for moms. So often I write “they,” then change it to “his or her,” then to “s/he.” All the while I wonder which one will brand me as an unschooled hack. I agree, the “singular they” seems to be here to stay–and eliminates all that angst. Yet when I’m writing, my ear hears the traditionalother terms. Somehow it’s comforting to know that Shakespeare, etc., emmployed that terminology way back when.
How about using “the partner’s”, “the person’s” or simply “the” in the blank. It avoids all the problems.
Using “the” is perhaps the best since the reaction will be assumed to refer to the partner anyway.
It’d probably be easiest to re-write the sentence so you don’t have to worry about getting the pronoun wrong.
Next to be accepted is “over” instead of “more than”
I considered the singular “they” a serious grammatical error until I worked as a reporter for a local newspaper. The editor himself used “they” and “their” instead of “his or her.” I still can’t bring myself to use a plural pronoun to modify a singular subject. Written or spoken, the sentence just sounds wrong. I have on occasion used the archaic “he” when “his/her” is too awkward or distracting. Thanks for the discussion!
I like this post. I prefer clarity and flow over grammatical correctness myself. (Though obviously I prefer to achieve all three!).
In the first example, using ‘his’ puts the husband in my mind. A mild confusion, I admit, but potential confusion nonetheless. Whereas using ‘their’ produces no confusion. It communicates what is meant without resorting to the awkward ‘he or she’.
I’m going to be a conscientious objector on this one. Though I have succumbed to using the singular “they” sometimes in spoken communication, I don’t like it. Not one bit. Language is a system, like math. I like the beauty and order of the system.
Can’t we all just switch to “hir?”
I tend to use “his or her” when writing, but “they” when speaking.
I find this much less troublesome than the common misuse of who/whom, or using “There’s” in reference to plural items.
“There’s some cups on the table” just sends me into fits… and I even catch myself doing it! So I am constantly correcting myself and it goes like this…”There’s – there are – some cups on the table.”
My fear is that my young son will think that “There’s there are” is the correct way to denote plural objects!
Oh, and “there’s” is so prevalent now that I hear celebrities and TV commentators use it all the time. I have even seen it in print in advertising for major companies.
Same with who/whom.
Liking your thoughts, but I’m having a bit of trouble keeping up with your massive volume of posts.
I agree with Susan and Sonia. When in doubt, rewrite.