Fun Fridays – April 13, 2012

The Rejection Letter Generator

Become used to receiving rejection letters from agents and editors. Test your own mettle. Develop immunity to snarky comments!
Go to this site and fill one of the seven forms. The Rejection Generator Project
I guarantee you will be rejected within seconds. So much better than waiting weeks for our agency’s evaluation.

Here is a sample of the rejection letter I received from the site:

Dear Writer,

I regret to say that we cannot use the piece you have submitted. There are many potential reasons for this: we are looking for very particular subject matter; we are overstocked right now; we were drunk when we read it. This is not a judgment of you. It does not mean you are a bad writer.

Of course, you probably are a bad writer. You’re probably so bad you can’t finish this sentence: “My mama wears __________.” The vast majority of people who think of themselves as writers are actually bad writers. They just don’t know it. Nonetheless, this one rejection doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bad. But probably you are.

And the odds are that you are immoral and lazy as well. We don’t mean to be harsh. We’re talking about the percentages here.

Best,

The Editors

 

5 Responses to Fun Fridays – April 13, 2012

  1. Sara Baysinger April 13, 2012 at 3:51 am #

    Haha! “We were drunk when we read it….” Love it!

  2. Sara Baysinger April 13, 2012 at 3:59 am #

    Oh my goodness. I just did ALL of the rejection letters! Laughed until I cried. Amazing.

  3. Patrick April 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

    What’s so funny? I got three of those last week …

  4. Peter DeHaan April 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm #

    I had no idea that alcohol was part of the evaluation process!

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  1. Weekend Grab Bag – From Writing Tips to a Queen Riding Darth « Angela Quarles - April 14, 2012

    […] needles like me, waiting for those rejection letters? Get the suspense out of your system with the Rejection Letter Generator! the real ones couldn’t be […]

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